I don’t like the way I’m feeling right now, it’s kind of hard to describe… I feel lost and confused and unsure of myself or my actions I make today. My body feels strange and lonely, my head is clustered and won’t stop thinking.. mostly bad thoughts… I keep thinking that you went to her place because you secretly want her and you just don’t want to tell me and that she has something that she can offer you that I simply can’t.. I want to be able to trust you, I do. I was real damn close to trusting you because for me.. people need to build there trust and you were almost there and now were back from square one.. I just feel really insecure and really easy to get rid of. I feel like you can find better and maybe that’s what you were doing last night… I mean it’s your life.. you can make your own choices… Even know you tell me that nothing went on last night my negative mind says different, My mind thinks that if you see someone you hooked up with in the past or really recently actually and you go over there at an indecent time then indecent things happen.. especially while drinking.. plus nothing good happens after 12… and it has happened before and things that happen usually happen more then once. I was hurt… I am hurt.. I don’t know if we can go back to where we were, I want to because I want you but I just feel really flustered and really down and I don’t know how to trust you and let this go and move on and get back to the way we were, I want to trust you, I want to move on from this and get closer to you but my mind isn’t letting me get past this… It’s your word against my mind in the end, not sure what to think or if I can trust you in this fucked up situation..
